Friday, July 13, 2012

Be Still

So many decisions. So much "stuff" that has to get sorted through.
Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Financially.

The last few weeks have been so overwhelming. So completely overwhelming.

Like a shipwrecked person in the ocean, I barely get my head above the water before the next wave overtakes me.

My prayers are so full. Full of anger, pain, hope, sorrow, confusion, worry, love, frustration, desire, gratitude. I am so thankful my God is so great that He can handle all of it. I have never been so grateful to end my prayers with, "Take it Lord, because I can't handle it," and then know He already has.

Psalm 146:5-6 Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful. The Lord preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.

How do I explain this faith?

How do I explain God's whispering, "Be still"?
It is so plainly spoken that I can nearly feel His hand on my shoulder, gently pushing me back.
Pushing me to rest in Him.

I have never felt this "Just wait, just rest," so clearly. And yet, I have moments where I tantrum like a two year old: "I want answers! And. I. Want. Them. NOW!!"

Psalm 46:10-11 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.

He has shown me His mercies and blessings. Things that I know are for my heart only. God knows me so well that he knows what I need before even I know myself.

Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

I am so grateful for so many reasons. God has given me so much. I am humbled and awed.

"Were the whole realm of nature mine,
that were an offering far too small;
love so amazing, so divine,
demands my soul, my life, my all."

How do I explain this joy in the middle of such pain? This peace in the middle of such turmoil?

I can't.

I can only pray that God will show it to you too. Trust Him and be amazed by His love.
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