Monday, March 30, 2009

New Weight Loss Program

I have discovered a new weight loss program! It involves contracting a very nasty stomach bug, complete with stomach cramps that rival childbirth pains. The inability to put ANYTHING in your stomach in combination with the severe gastrointestinal distress, sets you on the road for severe dehydration.

When your husband comes home from work, he will take one look at you, discover you haven't eaten or drank anything in 48 hours, and he will threaten to put you over his shoulder and carry you fireman style to the car, unless you walk on your own to the car. I chose to walk.

At the hospital they will assess that no, it isn't food poisoning, merely viral. They will administer fluids, anti-nausea drugs and a painful shot which eventually stops the excruciating spasms occurring in your gut. After two hours you are re-hydrated to their liking and sent on your way, being told that this bug tends to last 3-4 days.

Well, Sunday was day three and I was able to swallow some water last night and keep it where it is supposed to be. This morning I am able to sit up, but still am quite dehydrated. I attempted a piece of toast without success, so I suppose I am not yet over it. I figure I have enough fat stores to survive another week at least...

3 comments:

Phyllis said...

yuck. Sorry to hear you're not feeling much better, but I"m glad Sam made you go to the hospital. Hope you have an easy day at work today.

Mama Ski said...

Hee...hee.....hee......only a week huh?
My mind is picturing a prune like Amy being deflated, after going to the hospital you walk out the doors puffed back up agian.
Sorry, you know how I really feel...
Do you have any Ginger syrup? Sports drink stuff? It really does work wonders. Remember, small sips, ice chips, don't rush the food. Let me know if you need any help (from a distance, no cooties please).
Yes, I really do feel bad for you!

Amy Smith said...

I can just FEEELLLL the luv!

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