Finding Joy

Waiting for the other shoe to drop. That sense of knowing something will happen and it's just a matter of time. It is a saying that comes from the late 1800s when in tenement homes those on the first floor would hear the first shoe drop of their neighbor above and they would wait, knowing the second shoe was going to follow. It brings the idea of being on edge and looking for the evidence that the event is about to come to fruition. Everything gets put on hold while we wait for that shoe to hit the floor.

But, instead of spending our time looking for it, listening and anticipating it, what if we made the best of it. What if since we know it is going to happen, what if we spent the time enjoying what we have: the silence in between the shoes. Let's find the joy in what is actually happening instead of dreading and worrying over what will happen. 

I am working hard to take this approach. The situation is not an "if" it will happen, but very clearly a "when" it happens. I could spend my days planning for all the consequences. I could monitor the signs, looking for hints that it is coming. I could raise walls and defenses, or attempt to control the outcomes. 

or 

I can find the joy in the pause. I can see, feel, and know that right now it is not happening. Right now things are peaceful and quiet. If I enjoy what is happening in this moment, then when the shoe does drop, I will know that I truly experienced the pause. My memories will not be consumed in the worry, angst, and care. Is this what James is talking about in James 1:2 "My brethren, count it all joy..." and Paul in Philippians 4:11 "... for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."?

 To fix my thoughts on what is right now, isn't always easy. Some days it is a struggle to not dwell on that impending second shoe. But when I do get lost in the joy of the pause between shoes, it encourages and spurs me on to keep doing it. I want to keep seeking out those moments. Those joys can never be taken from me, no matter when or how that shoe falls, the time in the pause is mine to hold forever.

Love Your Neighbor

This year a Senior 4-H club member is spearheading the annual Great Goats and More 4-H Club Love Your Neighbor Event. I am so glad to hand over the reins of that event to someone besides a Smith!

What is "Love Your Neighbor," you ask?

It is an event that pools many of the 4-H club members' community service projects into one H-U-G-E project. Our older teens and tweens are encouraged to choose a community service project to lead each year. We often ended up with lots of collection drives spread out over the year which was difficult for this leader to keep on top of. A few years ago we took all of the projects and gave them the same "due date." We make it a party with food, games, food, door prizes, food, and craft activities. Did I mention food? Also each project leader gives a short presentation about their project. The public is invited and asked to contribute to the project of their choice (or all of them!).

This year our 4-H members have taken on:

The Women's Shelter in New London: deoderant, toothbrushes, pajamas, and socks.

Local Animal Control: dog collars, leashes, blankets.

Kitty Harbor: Whiskas temptation cat treats, canned cat food any flavor but not sliced or shredded, any meat flavord baby food, clay litter, extra large litter boxes, and cat scrathers.

No Freeze Shelter of Willimantic: hats and scarves.

Lebanon Food Pantry: tuna, peanut butter, canned goods, and rice.

 The tentative date is March 30th (I'll let you know if the date changes!) at the Fire Safety Complex in Lebanon 6PM- 9PM. I would be happy to pick up donations! And if you are from outside the area, consider joining us in spirit and donating items to your local organizations.

Crazy Love

I finished reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. Definitely a book which causes you to stop and think about our relationship with God. The world should call us "crazy" because of how we behave, relate to others, and the sacrifices we make, all in the name of our love for God. But to God, this is considered "normal".

Much of the book challenged me to look at other things that I claim to love, and what I am willing (even eager) to do because of that love. It caused me to evaluate if my love for God has any of those attributes. Am I eager to get up early and spend time in prayer? Am I willing to forgive? Am I willing to sacrifice my own comfort so that others will have comfort?

Is it simply obedience? What is my motivation? Obedience is not a bad thing in itself, but my motivation should be love. God looks on my heart, not my outward actions and appearance. What good are all the things I do if I have not love? If I am lukewarm, and my works are done merely to make me look good, God will spit me out. Can you imagine? Getting to stand before the Creator and having Him look you in the eye and say, "I never knew you: depart from me..." (Matthew 7:23)

Psalm 51: 10- 12 says, "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit." This prayer of David's speaks to my heart as I desire to have the right spirit of love. That I would return to my first love, and remember from what God has saved me from. (Revelation 3: 2-5)

It is so easy to do and say the right things and have the praise of others be our motivation. We have such a hard time with delayed gratification. I pray that I can have the vision to look beyond this moment. As my favorite hymn, Be Thou My Vision, says:

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,

Thou mine inheritance, now and always:

Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,

High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art. 

Anniversary

Easter Sunday, this year, also happens to be our wedding anniversary. Eighteen years ago Sam and I exchanged vows in a simple wedding. We were not well off, being that he was a firefighter for a rather small town and I worked at the local greenhouse. So we planned our wedding to be small and not the least bit frivolous. We believed (and still believe) that the promises we made were more important than what kind of flowers we had or where the reception was held.

We asked friends to contribute to their "gift" to the wedding rather than buying us a gift. One had a small business arranging silk flowers, so all of our bouquets were done in silk. One made cakes as a hobby and created a beautiful one for us. Another owned a funeral home which had a limousine. He donated it and a driver for the day for us. Another friend helped me create and sew my wedding dress, while another donated lace from her own wedding gown. Sam's brother and his wife organized, cooked, and served the dinner at the reception. A wonderful friend played piano and her two young daughters sang the most beautiful song during the ceremony.

The service was wonderful for what I can remember of it. I do remember the pastor getting mixed up and Sam almost vowed to honor and obey ME! I also remember that I had been on Prednisone for two weeks prior to the wedding and had gained a good amount of weight. Sam couldn't get the wedding ring all the way onto my finger because of it. Our album of wedding pictures disappeared several years ago during one of our moves. We still have a grainy video of the day, which the girls like to take out and laugh at every once in a while.

Eighteen years and I love Sam more today than I did then, and I didn't think that was possible on that day.

God has taken us down some interesting pathways. At times, we have strayed from His pathways, but He was always faithful. When we finally regained our senses and turned back towards Him, He led us back to where we needed to be.

 I pray for another fifty years together. I pray that we will love each other even more than we do today, but I don't think that is possible...