Broken

We have been told by so many social workers, case aids, and lawyers, that we are amazing foster parents. That we have positively impacted the lives of the difficult teens and kids placed in our home. They’ve seen major behavioral improvements as well as physical health improvements in the kids in the short time they have spent with us. I can with confidence say, “We are good at this!”

This past weekend we had to request that the two youths in our home be removed. I alluded in my last post that some crazy events had happened, it seemed in direct opposition to our standing firm in our decision to keep fostering. Unfortunately those events spiraled over the week into both kids subsequently declaring that I had no authority over them and they could do whatever they wanted. And so a higher authority, that did have powers to stop them, was called and they were moved to another home.

Sam wants to take a two month hiatus, but I am convinced that we won’t be taking in any more children. In two months we will re-evaluate where we stand. It is a heartbreaking situation as one of the children was doing so well, and his poor choice to follow the older youth in mutiny, is going to change the trajectory of his life significantly.

For those wishing to do foster care, our tale is not the common one. Once we had demonstrated that we could handle and improve DCF’s “toughest kids”, we became the go-to resource. The majority of children in care are not this difficult or troubled. We just were not offered many of the easy ones.

The experience has not been a waste. Ultimately, I believe that God has walked us through an exercise in obedience. We found resources outside of ourselves and learned to ask for help. We experienced leaning into our faith for strength and on each other. We remained committed and wholly invested until the very last minute.

The nine kids that came through our home in the last seven months all left better than they arrived. The older kids know that there is a better way, they just need to choose it. The younger ones won’t even remember that they were here, but I know they were loved. I take comfort in my broken heart, because it means that I still have one.