Only One Way

Last weekend I attended a Ladies conference with Nathalie and Abby. We had a great time together, eating, laughing, and worshipping. Nathalie may never live down the “there’s only one way” moment, as we were staring down not one, but THREE options! 🤣

I was attending the conference with the prayer in my heart that while we had decided to keep going with fostering for another six months, I still was feeling unsettled. Divided. I still had moments, hours, and sometimes days, where I questioned our decision and wondered what if we just stopped and embraced an empty nest? I was praying that God, through the speakers and the times in prayer, would show me so clearly which way to go.

The first day was wonderful. Fantastic speakers who spoke about God’s sovereignty. His care and patience through our struggles and trials. How He has a plan and even in, especially in, adversity He is teaching us. In a conversation with one of the speakers during some downtime, I shared how Sam and I were going back and forth about our future plans. Each of the two paths had pros and cons, both would bring regrets and rewards, and were going to each have their own trials. She commented that because we were so committed to hearing from God, we couldn’t choose wrongly. No matter which path we picked, God is in control and we are in His will. I chewed on that thought for a long while.

So the next day was more sessions, worship, prayer, and fun with my girls. There were several vendors at the conference and I was drawn to two signs:

One seemed to represent our “empty nest” choice while the other was embracing our fostering choice. The next person who presented spoke on “Identity” and since it was a Christian conference, it was about our identity in Christ. I swear the voice in my head nearly shouted, “WAIT! Hold up a minute! The choice isn’t the point. Who I am is the point!”

Then The next person spoke on “Soaring”. She spoke about Eagles versus Seagulls. The analogies were spot on and, oh how I love a good analogy!😁 And then I heard the word that changed everything:
                          B A L A N C E
Sam and I CAN do both. It’s not a decision between two choices. It’s finding balance in each of them.  So I bought both signs. One hangs over the big map in my living room, and the other will be on the front door as soon as we get the right hanger.

I shared with Sam that night the notes I had written during the conference and WOW! It was really cool to see how God had been working through each of the speakers and presenters. Sam agreed that we had been out of balance. Going gung ho, whole hog, into foster care had left us longing for significant alone time with each other. Which, in turn, had caused us to feel pinched by the amount of time raising hurting kids took away.

So we’ve taken steps to find our balance. We have requested “respite care” services for the kids which will allow us to go away for more than 24 hours. We are putting more of the transportation and appointment requirements back on DCF so that we are doing less running around. We are now asking each other, when faced with a decision, “Does this keep balance or throw us off kilter? Are we soaring or flapping madly?” (Eagles? or Seagulls?)

Of course, not three hours from making those decisions, we had some crazy events that I can’t publicly share. But suffice it to say, I think the devil took our decisions as a personal challenge. 🤦‍♀️ But that’s a story for another day...