For the last few months Sam and I have been feeling like we are standing on the edge. Like we are on the verge of something.
A lot of changes have been happening in our home over the last year: Abby gets married in less than a week, Nathalie graduated college, got a job, and moved to Kansas, Hannah will be finishing her Associates degree this fall and is looking at mission trips or applying to out of state colleges. Rachel and Samantha are still homeschooled but their high school curriculum is a lot less "hands-on" than previous years. Sam has eight to ten years left at the firehouse before he will retire and so our thoughts have been turning to the future for all aspects of our lives.
When Sam and I have heavy thinking and praying to do, we head to the ocean. Something about walking on the beach, holding hands, smelling the salt air and watching the waves, eases our minds. The exercise is a nice added benefit!
And so after may walks, prayers, and discussions, we have come to no conclusions regarding our farm, our animals, our kids, or our futures. God has been silent. There are no slamming doors, no wide open windows, no blazing stars to lead us. Just this feeling that we are being called to a new direction.
It's rather odd really. Feeling like we need to be prepared, but having no idea what to prepare for, or even how to prepare. The only decision we have made is that we will hold a family meeting in the beginning of October. We've told the girls and Justin, (he's part of the family now!) and have asked them to be in prayer about it all.
The other weird thing: I am not anxious about it. Normally, if I don't have a plan and a list, I get anxious. I worry about the details and making sure I have accounted for all ramifications and consequences. The girls joke about me having Plans A-C set up, with Plans D-G at least in the formation stages, just in case I need them!
I talk over our need to make decisions with people. I mull it over in my head. But I am not feeling worried, uneasy, or troubled by it. I find I am completely at peace. I am trusting that God will reveal His plan to us, in His time. And the "not knowing" doesn't nag at me, but I find myself drawn to prayer about it quite often. Always with the knowledge that whatever decisions are made in a few months, God has it all under His control.
Showing posts with label changes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label changes. Show all posts
Monday, August 17, 2015
Friday, August 24, 2012
Changing Routines
Monday is the day Abigail and Nathalie start their college classes. Hannah has decided to not show goats and will sell some of her does to Abby after she completes the 4-H year at the Big E. With these changes we've had to create new schedules for the chores.
Abigail and Samantha now have the bulk of the barn chores. Hannah will take on the majority of Nathalie's house chores with Rachel being her assistant. Nathalie will still be making the menus and grocery lists, but Rachel and Hannah will be doing the cooking. Abby and Nathalie's chores have been relegated to either early morning or later evening jobs.
With new routines always comes some "re-training". It means I have to spend time calling kids back to the job to correct or complete something they have missed. I truly hate that part. I feel like such a nag, but being they are "kids" they are experts at finding ways to cut corners or avoid the "nasty" jobs.
I do eventually lose my cool. For example yesterday, after two weeks of threatening about the state of one bedroom in particular, I announced that I was gathering up the trash bags, the febreeze, a broom and dustpan, and windex. It only took them seconds to figure out what I was about to do! The mad dash to the bedroom began and they began scooping up all those things that they deemed had value before I could toss them in the trash bags.
For the next several hours we worked on cleaning the room. My way. They prefer their way. You know: dirty clothes get shoved under the bed to hang out with the dust bunnies, clean ironing gets tossed onto the floor of the closet, clean laundry gets piled on top of the bureau or the foot of the bed, papers and notebooks get shoved onto the bookshelves, and closing the curtains takes care of the smeared windows.
New routines are for me too. I am trying to spend more time in the sewing room and more time reading books. Sam finished my Adirondack chair a few months ago and the front deck is the perfect place to read and drink my coffee in the morning. Eventually I'll need a book light to be out there as early as I am, but by then it will probably be too cold anyway.
I really do enjoy this time of year. Changing routines seems to invigorate and motivate us all to accomplish more and evaluate our priorities. The lazy, humid days of summer are nearly over, and while I have enjoyed our slower pace this summer, I really am looking forward to leaving this summer behind us and pressing onward into the busy time of fall and December activities.
Abigail and Samantha now have the bulk of the barn chores. Hannah will take on the majority of Nathalie's house chores with Rachel being her assistant. Nathalie will still be making the menus and grocery lists, but Rachel and Hannah will be doing the cooking. Abby and Nathalie's chores have been relegated to either early morning or later evening jobs.
With new routines always comes some "re-training". It means I have to spend time calling kids back to the job to correct or complete something they have missed. I truly hate that part. I feel like such a nag, but being they are "kids" they are experts at finding ways to cut corners or avoid the "nasty" jobs.
I do eventually lose my cool. For example yesterday, after two weeks of threatening about the state of one bedroom in particular, I announced that I was gathering up the trash bags, the febreeze, a broom and dustpan, and windex. It only took them seconds to figure out what I was about to do! The mad dash to the bedroom began and they began scooping up all those things that they deemed had value before I could toss them in the trash bags.
For the next several hours we worked on cleaning the room. My way. They prefer their way. You know: dirty clothes get shoved under the bed to hang out with the dust bunnies, clean ironing gets tossed onto the floor of the closet, clean laundry gets piled on top of the bureau or the foot of the bed, papers and notebooks get shoved onto the bookshelves, and closing the curtains takes care of the smeared windows.
New routines are for me too. I am trying to spend more time in the sewing room and more time reading books. Sam finished my Adirondack chair a few months ago and the front deck is the perfect place to read and drink my coffee in the morning. Eventually I'll need a book light to be out there as early as I am, but by then it will probably be too cold anyway.
I really do enjoy this time of year. Changing routines seems to invigorate and motivate us all to accomplish more and evaluate our priorities. The lazy, humid days of summer are nearly over, and while I have enjoyed our slower pace this summer, I really am looking forward to leaving this summer behind us and pressing onward into the busy time of fall and December activities.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Making MORE Decisions
Monday is Auction day. We need to reduce our herd of goats (the price of grain and hay has increased dramatically in the last few months) and we haven't been able to sell through private sales. So, three goats are heading to the auction this week.
One is a buck that we have used for the last three years. Just about everything here is related to him, so it just isn't smart to keep him. Limburger is a buckling that was born here to our other really nice sire and a doe that has a great udder. Abby has decided to keep her buckling this year out of the same sire as Limburger, and since we don't need that many bucks... The last one to go is a doe that we purchased from out of state three years ago. She looked good as a kid, but just never grew into her legs and shoulders like we had hoped. She is a doe that we struggle to put weight on every year after she kids, so she is being culled.
We are in the process of debating whether or not to keep the horse. Honey consumes a LOT of grain and hay and we have always maintained that animals that live here must be giving something back. Honey is a great horse for kids as a backyard friend and for trail rides, but Hannah has decided she just doesn't have the time she needs to spend on keeping Honey in shape. Which means Honey isn't giving anything back. Ever since the discussions started, Rachel has begun to take an interest in the horse. Every morning this week she has groomed Honey, picked her feet, and lunged her. Sam and I are waiting to see if this new interest maintains itself, or if it's just a passing trend brought on by our discussions. If Rachel keeps up caring for the horse, she'll stay as she will be giving back as she teaches Rachel responsibility.
We've eliminated a few more goat shows from our itinerary for the summer. Gas prices being as they are, and several conflicting family events, have caused us to rethink how far and how many shows we really want to do. We have talked with Abby, Hannah, and Samantha (the three most involved kids) and have started them thinking about where they want to go with goat showing. They are considering what they're goals are and what the financial and time spent consequences are of those goals. I have a suspicion from the gist of our talks that after the Topsfield fair this year, there will be a sell-off of a large portion of our herd.
Making decisions can be freeing, but it is also filled with angst. We wonder if we are making the right decision. Are there consequences that are down the road, that we just can't envision from where we stand? Are we seeing the whole picture? Is this a knee-jerk reactionary choice based solely in our emotions? Are we just choosing what is simply easiest at this moment?
"Hindsight is always 20/20," is a saying we use around here. Many times the consequences of our decisions don't come to fruition until months, even years later. Sam says that if a ship is going in a direction, any direction, it is far easier to change the direction than if the ship is just standing still. (I take his word for it since he grew up near the ocean with boats, and I did not.) So now it seems, we are changing course. Our girls are growing up, they are getting new interests, new goals. Are we heading in the right direction? I don't know yet. But the journey will be an adventure, and I like adventures.
One is a buck that we have used for the last three years. Just about everything here is related to him, so it just isn't smart to keep him. Limburger is a buckling that was born here to our other really nice sire and a doe that has a great udder. Abby has decided to keep her buckling this year out of the same sire as Limburger, and since we don't need that many bucks... The last one to go is a doe that we purchased from out of state three years ago. She looked good as a kid, but just never grew into her legs and shoulders like we had hoped. She is a doe that we struggle to put weight on every year after she kids, so she is being culled.
We are in the process of debating whether or not to keep the horse. Honey consumes a LOT of grain and hay and we have always maintained that animals that live here must be giving something back. Honey is a great horse for kids as a backyard friend and for trail rides, but Hannah has decided she just doesn't have the time she needs to spend on keeping Honey in shape. Which means Honey isn't giving anything back. Ever since the discussions started, Rachel has begun to take an interest in the horse. Every morning this week she has groomed Honey, picked her feet, and lunged her. Sam and I are waiting to see if this new interest maintains itself, or if it's just a passing trend brought on by our discussions. If Rachel keeps up caring for the horse, she'll stay as she will be giving back as she teaches Rachel responsibility.
We've eliminated a few more goat shows from our itinerary for the summer. Gas prices being as they are, and several conflicting family events, have caused us to rethink how far and how many shows we really want to do. We have talked with Abby, Hannah, and Samantha (the three most involved kids) and have started them thinking about where they want to go with goat showing. They are considering what they're goals are and what the financial and time spent consequences are of those goals. I have a suspicion from the gist of our talks that after the Topsfield fair this year, there will be a sell-off of a large portion of our herd.
Making decisions can be freeing, but it is also filled with angst. We wonder if we are making the right decision. Are there consequences that are down the road, that we just can't envision from where we stand? Are we seeing the whole picture? Is this a knee-jerk reactionary choice based solely in our emotions? Are we just choosing what is simply easiest at this moment?
"Hindsight is always 20/20," is a saying we use around here. Many times the consequences of our decisions don't come to fruition until months, even years later. Sam says that if a ship is going in a direction, any direction, it is far easier to change the direction than if the ship is just standing still. (I take his word for it since he grew up near the ocean with boats, and I did not.) So now it seems, we are changing course. Our girls are growing up, they are getting new interests, new goals. Are we heading in the right direction? I don't know yet. But the journey will be an adventure, and I like adventures.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Roller Coaster versus Ferris Wheel
The dictionary defines "change" as, "to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone." There has been a lot of "making the future course different from what it would be if left alone" around here lately.
I have learned that even changes that are good and desirable are difficult. Habits, attitudes, and perspectives get altered when things change. And these are not always easy to accept. There is resistance when changes cause us to question our desires, objectives, and investments.
Sam and I have changed how we approach decisions. We look at our choices in the light of what we believe is our purpose as a husband and wife, and as a family. We have never done that before. It isn't easy to say "no" to things that would be fun, exciting, or self-promoting. Especially when you never have before. It is difficult to remember to stop and think before giving an answer when asked to participate.
We have, as a family, sat down and looked at all the activities we are involved in: two 4-h clubs, 4-h fair association, dog training class, Master's Club teachers at church, goats, horse, chickens, bees, maple syrup, fair superintendants for several fairs, baseball team, National Dairy Goat show, Bible quiz team... etc. etc. etc.
We looked at each activity and evaluated it for how it fit with our purpose. Does it bring us together as a family? Does it promote good attitudes or does it bring out bad behavior? Do we really enjoy it, or are we just doing it because we always have? Has God called us to it?
Some things were obvious: 4-H fair association is just something we are doing because we always have and because of changes in the leadership style, it is bringing out negative attitudes in all of us. So last month we completed our commitments and obligations and said "Good-bye". Now, the difficult parts of that change were, 1) explaining the decision to the leadership and 2) not immediately filling that time slot with another activity!
Other things were not so easy: Bible Quiz team is something that doesn't necessarily bring us together as a family, and it promotes good attitudes in some, but not in others. Abigail had a conflict in dates with this and her position on the 4-H record book committee. She decided to honor the comittment to the committee, as she had signed up for that many months ago, before Bible Quiz had even come up. Before our new perspective, we would have driven around like crazy making sure she could do both, and she wouldn't have been fully committed to either activity.
But, Nathalie and Hannah enjoy the quizzing, it encourages them to spend time in God's Word, and provides them with opportunities to be with other christian teens. So we compromise: they do the quiz team, with the understanding that they will miss some practices if family commitments conflict.
And so the changes continue. Some are easy: All but 14 chickens went to auction a few weeks ago. Some are more difficult: Which goats do we keep? How many goats do we keep? How many fairs do we go to? How many times do we visit the grandparents? Which projects around the house are most important? Are we going to do a mission trip? Do we really want to continue beekeeping?
These decisions are so wrapped in with who we are and what others expect of us, along with all of the emotional stuff attached to those things, it is difficult to separate out the necessary from the unnecessary. Change is hard, but it is good.
Things around here will be different, but I am getting used to saying, "Let me think about that," before I make a decision. I feel less like life is simply happening to me and I am merely hanging on (by my fingernails!) for the ride. I can take the time to listen for God's voice and seek His guiding hand. Life here is still a ride; just not an out-of-control roller coaster anymore. More like a Ferris wheel: still having high's and low's, up's and down's. Some days I can see forever, and other days I can only see the back of the seat in front of me. I can trust that God is at the controls and when we are at the bottom, He will eventually raise us up again.
I have learned that even changes that are good and desirable are difficult. Habits, attitudes, and perspectives get altered when things change. And these are not always easy to accept. There is resistance when changes cause us to question our desires, objectives, and investments.
Sam and I have changed how we approach decisions. We look at our choices in the light of what we believe is our purpose as a husband and wife, and as a family. We have never done that before. It isn't easy to say "no" to things that would be fun, exciting, or self-promoting. Especially when you never have before. It is difficult to remember to stop and think before giving an answer when asked to participate.
We have, as a family, sat down and looked at all the activities we are involved in: two 4-h clubs, 4-h fair association, dog training class, Master's Club teachers at church, goats, horse, chickens, bees, maple syrup, fair superintendants for several fairs, baseball team, National Dairy Goat show, Bible quiz team... etc. etc. etc.
We looked at each activity and evaluated it for how it fit with our purpose. Does it bring us together as a family? Does it promote good attitudes or does it bring out bad behavior? Do we really enjoy it, or are we just doing it because we always have? Has God called us to it?
Some things were obvious: 4-H fair association is just something we are doing because we always have and because of changes in the leadership style, it is bringing out negative attitudes in all of us. So last month we completed our commitments and obligations and said "Good-bye". Now, the difficult parts of that change were, 1) explaining the decision to the leadership and 2) not immediately filling that time slot with another activity!
Other things were not so easy: Bible Quiz team is something that doesn't necessarily bring us together as a family, and it promotes good attitudes in some, but not in others. Abigail had a conflict in dates with this and her position on the 4-H record book committee. She decided to honor the comittment to the committee, as she had signed up for that many months ago, before Bible Quiz had even come up. Before our new perspective, we would have driven around like crazy making sure she could do both, and she wouldn't have been fully committed to either activity.
But, Nathalie and Hannah enjoy the quizzing, it encourages them to spend time in God's Word, and provides them with opportunities to be with other christian teens. So we compromise: they do the quiz team, with the understanding that they will miss some practices if family commitments conflict.
And so the changes continue. Some are easy: All but 14 chickens went to auction a few weeks ago. Some are more difficult: Which goats do we keep? How many goats do we keep? How many fairs do we go to? How many times do we visit the grandparents? Which projects around the house are most important? Are we going to do a mission trip? Do we really want to continue beekeeping?
These decisions are so wrapped in with who we are and what others expect of us, along with all of the emotional stuff attached to those things, it is difficult to separate out the necessary from the unnecessary. Change is hard, but it is good.
Things around here will be different, but I am getting used to saying, "Let me think about that," before I make a decision. I feel less like life is simply happening to me and I am merely hanging on (by my fingernails!) for the ride. I can take the time to listen for God's voice and seek His guiding hand. Life here is still a ride; just not an out-of-control roller coaster anymore. More like a Ferris wheel: still having high's and low's, up's and down's. Some days I can see forever, and other days I can only see the back of the seat in front of me. I can trust that God is at the controls and when we are at the bottom, He will eventually raise us up again.
Monday, January 11, 2010
More New Things
More new things for the new year. 2010 is shaping up to be a year of changes. And it's only the 11th!
A new schedule at my work starts up when we return from our vacation to North Carolina. I'll only be working one early morning, which means easier transitions from chores into schoolwork for the kids.
One of Sam's part-time jobs appears to be ending in late February. I must say we both are kind of glad to see it end. The last few months with it have been rather frustrating and if we make some adjustments in our budget the extra money isn't going to be too badly missed.
A new horse is arriving on January 23rd. He's another freebie, like Honey was. He's a gelding quarter horse and ten years old. He's very well mannered for a boy who hasn't been ridden or really even handled since May. He'll need some work done on his feet as they have been badly neglected, but he'll make a nice addition to our barn.
Rachel and Hannah will start taking riding lessons at a real stable in February. Their current instructor got a full time job and moved further away, so she no longer has the time to come and teach them. The barn they'll be riding at is only a few minutes from our house so it will be easy to get them there.
The last change is one we are still thinking about and is a big one. We have been considering bringing Rachel and Samantha home from public school in September to be homeschooled with their sisters. No, I don't think I can do a better job than the school, just a different kind of job. I have also seen what happens to good kids when exposed to the public school kids. Several of my 4-H'ers whom I have known for many, many years have become my "friend" on facebook. What I have seen being posted by them and among their friends is very disturbing. Sam and I both do not want our children exposed to that kind of behavior. While we haven't made a final decision about it, it is one we are carefully considering.
Change is good. It makes us think and be proactive in our lives. It causes us to stretch out of our "comfort zones" and lean on God and others to get us through the adjustments.
A new schedule at my work starts up when we return from our vacation to North Carolina. I'll only be working one early morning, which means easier transitions from chores into schoolwork for the kids.
One of Sam's part-time jobs appears to be ending in late February. I must say we both are kind of glad to see it end. The last few months with it have been rather frustrating and if we make some adjustments in our budget the extra money isn't going to be too badly missed.
A new horse is arriving on January 23rd. He's another freebie, like Honey was. He's a gelding quarter horse and ten years old. He's very well mannered for a boy who hasn't been ridden or really even handled since May. He'll need some work done on his feet as they have been badly neglected, but he'll make a nice addition to our barn.
Rachel and Hannah will start taking riding lessons at a real stable in February. Their current instructor got a full time job and moved further away, so she no longer has the time to come and teach them. The barn they'll be riding at is only a few minutes from our house so it will be easy to get them there.
The last change is one we are still thinking about and is a big one. We have been considering bringing Rachel and Samantha home from public school in September to be homeschooled with their sisters. No, I don't think I can do a better job than the school, just a different kind of job. I have also seen what happens to good kids when exposed to the public school kids. Several of my 4-H'ers whom I have known for many, many years have become my "friend" on facebook. What I have seen being posted by them and among their friends is very disturbing. Sam and I both do not want our children exposed to that kind of behavior. While we haven't made a final decision about it, it is one we are carefully considering.
Change is good. It makes us think and be proactive in our lives. It causes us to stretch out of our "comfort zones" and lean on God and others to get us through the adjustments.
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