2021 Is Coming

 At the end of 2019 I chose the word Stand to be my word for 2020 with my final thought being "I want to be found standing in 2020". I thought it would be a year of resting; of getting our feet under us and preparing to move forward.

 I was oh so wrong. It was a year of constantly adjusting and readjusting to what seemed like constant challenges and ever changing situations. Covid came and closed our foster care license. Nathalie and Rachel moved back home. Samantha moved to Kansas. We were presented an opportunity to be house parents in Alabama. And then that was retracted. 

2020 had more curveballs than a world series, but I am still standing. I rolled with the punches and found allies who stood with me. True friends who wouldn't tell me what I wanted to hear, but spoke the truth with grace and love. I found again the grace God has for all of us and the balanced perspective that that grace gives. Too many years of being told that I had to do more to earn God's favor and love were replaced with the understanding that because of who I am (His child),  I am already favored by Him. He favors me because He knows me, not because I behave perfectly all the time. And because I gained this inner balance, I was able to stand strong when everything around me seemed unbalanced.

My word for 2021 is "BEHOLD". 

In the King James Version of the Bible, “behold” is used as the translation of the Hebrew word "hinneh" in the Old Testament and the Greek word "idou" in the New Testament. There is no word in English which conveys perfectly what these words communicate. They might be defined as “Pay careful attention to what is to follow; it is very important!” It is an imperative command to pay attention. To behold something is to focus your attention upon it. I want to remember in 2021 to be alert to how God is moving, directing , and leading me. 

Webster's dictionary defines behold as "to perceive through sight or apprehension" and "to gaze upon" or "observe". If I am going to perceive, I need to be observing. This means I need to focus and see the whole picture. I often get tunnel vision and concentrate only on reaching the goal, losing sight of the experiences at hand in the process. God in 2020 certainly slowed me down and I am learning to be in the moment more often. I can make better decisions when I behold the whole picture.

While mulling over this word, it occurred to me that the past tense is BEHELD. I'll take some artistic license with that word and change it to "Be Held". I want to be held by and to hold loved ones. Covid has limited physical interactions and I want to savor each one when they happen.

Being held means being secure. I want to know God's presence and to rest in the knowledge that He holds me in the palm of His hand. In 2021 I want to remember that I am forever held by God's grace and take courage in that knowledge, so I can step in faith whatever direction He leads. 

2021 is a blank slate; wide open with possibilities and challenges. I want to remember to behold the whole picture, pay attention to the scenery, and slow down enough to perceive God's opportunities. I also want to remember that I will always be held by the Creator of the Universe and I can face the future with confidence.

Standing on the Promises

I find it interesting that the word I chose in January for 2020 was “Standing”.  For the last few weeks I have been challenged to stand in the face of some very real cares and worries.

It occurred to me that standing against adversity requires you to plant your feet and square your shoulders. While your stance is important, your foundation plays an even greater role. Planting your feet on marbles is not nearly as effective as solid ground.

The foundation for my mental and emotional stance always comes back to God’s promises. So after a particularly difficult day recently, I focused my bible study on what God says he will always be. I found four promises that resonated with me in our current situation and the resulting ways I can stand firm in His foundation.

1) God will always be with me.
          God says so many times that he will never leave nor forsake me. He is forever at my side, fighting with and for me. He doesn’t say I will never experience hard things, but that in them He is with me and will bring me through them. In the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, God didn’t extinguish the furnace. He stood in the furnace with them.
Joshua 1:9
Isaiah 43:2
Deuteronomy 31:8
              Because of this I can stand and not despair.

2) God will always be in control.
          While there isn’t one bible verse that says this truth in a simple quotable way, there are many times when God has demonstrated his power. Nothing happens that he hasn’t decided needed to happen. He is sovereign and our finite minds can not even grasp the enormity of what that means.
Isaiah 14:24
Proverbs 19:21
Daniel 2:21
            Because of this I can stand and not fear.

3) God will always be good.
            This promise is so hard for us to believe because oftentimes what is happening to us doesn’t feel good. It feels hard, sorrowful, painful, and to us those are an indication of a break. Broken equals bad in our mindset. Broken is good to God because He knows the end of the story. Mended is so much more beautiful to Him.
1 Chronicles 16:34
Psalm 34:8
Nahum 1:7
          Because of this I can stand and not doubt.

4) God will always be victorious.
          I love this promise! In the end, when all is said and done, God is the winner! He has all the power and all the authority because He created it all.
Romans 8:37-39
John 16:33
1 John 5:4
         Because of this I can stand and I will not fail.

So many more promises of God are in the bible. I would encourage you to seek them out and discover your own way to stand in Him.

Faith

Unbelief. Doubt. Fear. Worry. 

Who hasn't experienced these things? Some days I get all of them, all at the same time. That desire to simply curl up in a ball under the covers and disappear can be overwhelming, but I am learning to seek God when those moments come upon me.

During one of those times, I began reading through the book of Matthew. I came upon the passage in Matthew 6 where Jesus rebukes his followers for their lack of faith: ^"Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?" Lacking in faith brings on worry. My worry about things: food, shelter, clothing, family, and the future, all demonstrate my lack of faith. Jesus says, "Don't worry. I am here. Have faith."

Knowing there were other places where Jesus used the words, "ye of little faith," I went on a search. I found three other times when Jesus used that phrase and each time he matches lacking faith with a command. As I found in Matthew 6, we are commanded to not worry. The next place is in Mark 4 (also in Matthew 8). 

Jesus and the disciples are in their boat when a storm comes up out of nowhere. Jesus is asleep and the disciples are afraid. They wake Jesus with an accusation, "Don't you care?"  I have shouted the same question at God in my frustration, panic and fear. All I can hear are the swirling winds of doubt and fear. I get tunnel vision and can't see beyond the storm that is raging. 

The disciples are afraid. The waves are crashing over the boat. The wind is tearing at them. They are probably soaking wet and feverishly working to keep their boat afloat. Jesus' response to their demand is to dispel the storm and calm the sea. He asks the disciples where is their faith? In essence he is saying, "Don't be afraid, I am here. Have faith."

Matthew 14 is the third place where I found the phrase, "you of little faith". Of the many passages of the Bible that I love, this one is near the top. I could probably write a whole post just about this one section. (Maybe another day) This passage is about Peter. I love to read about Peter. I am rather like him, I think. He tries so hard to do and say the right things, but usually ends up being corrected, rebuked, or seriously regretting his words and actions. It gives me hope that Jesus says, "And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it." (Matthew 16:18)

In Matthew chapter 14, Jesus is walking on the water towards the disciples who are in their boat. Peter requests that Jesus prove it is him by calling Peter to walk on the water too. Jesus obliges his request and Peter steps out of the boat, onto the waves. Peter looks around at the waves and wind, instantly regretting his request. (that whole "Be careful what you pray for, you might just get it") Peter cries out for Jesus to save him, and Jesus does. (there's a whole sermon right there!) Jesus says to Peter, "O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?" Basically, Jesus is saying, "Don't doubt, I am here. Have faith."

The last place I found is in Matthew 16 (also found in Mark 8). Jesus and the disciples have just crossed the water, when the disciples realize they haven't brought any bread. Jesus' response is a teaching about the Saduccees and Pharisees. The disciples are confused and try to reason it out for themselves. Jesus rebukes them for their lack of faith and admonishes them to "remember the five loaves of the five thousand, and how many baskets ye took up? Neither the seven loaves of the four thousand, and how many baskets ye took up?" 

In those times when I am confused, when I just don't understand what God is doing, when I can't make sense of the world around me, I need to remember. I must remember those times when I saw God's hand in my life. Remember when God answered my prayers in such a profound way, that I could know for sure He was in control. Remember those moments when God provided "just enough" at "just the right time". Jesus is telling me, "Don't lean on your own understanding. Remember, I am here. Have faith."

On those days when I feel overwhlemed and my faith is even smaller than a mustard seed, I will not worry. I will not be afraid. I will not doubt. I will remember. 

Close Enough?

How often do we try to get away with doing the least possible? You know, finding the bare minimum amount of effort that can be put forth to complete a job. My kids are great at it. Rachel's job is to wipe the kitchen counters. So she makes a few swipes over the main part, leaving the canisters and the crumbs that are in front of them, where they are. The few crumbs her sponge does manage to come in contact with are swept to the floor for whoever has that chore to deal with. If you ask her, she'll tell you she "wiped the counters". She'll even defend her position vehemently if you challenge her on it.

Samantha will sweep the stairs, neglecting the dirt in the corners and between the spindles. Only the areas around the throw rug will get swept, and never under the radiator. She too, will swear that she "swept the stairs". I think we are all like this to some degree. We all want to expend as little energy as we possibly can to achieve a result that comes close enough.

I have a saying I use when teaching people how to sew: Close enough is good enough. Now in stitching a seam, the difference between 3/8" and 1/4" is not something that needs to be labored over. A little wavering in the stitching isn't really going to effect the end result. But in the things of God, close enough just isn't good enough. A little wavering is a big thing!

                            Romans 3:23 says: "For all have sinned,

and come short of the glory of God."

We fall short. We just can't be good enough. Nothing we do gets us close enough to God.

So what are we to do?

In this case there is no "doing the least bit possible." It's an all or nothing deal. Either you believe or you don't. If you're lukewarm, wishy-washy, or double minded, you are lost. (Revelation 3:16)

Romans 10:10: "For with the heart man believeth unto

righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation."

So what are we to believe?

Romans 10:9 tells us: "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth

the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath

raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved."

Jesus' death and resurrection makes us good enough.

Jesus gets us close enough.

So where do you stand?

I know in the end, when I stand before God, He won't be looking at me with a raised eyebrow saying, "Amy, I believe you missed a spot. Depart from me" (Luke 13:27-28)

Rocks

It's been one of those weeks. (And it's only Wednesday!)
You know what I mean. Nothing is horribly wrong, but nothing is very much right either.
So I began to build a stonewall. Terrific therapy, stonewall building. You place the rock, the rock stays where you put it. (well most of the time) While I was working, I began to think about rocks, and walls, and God, and faith. These are my thoughts:

Building a stonewall is sweaty work. It's dirty work. It can be painful, if you're not careful. Even if you are being careful, sometimes things happen. Smashed fingers, scraped knuckles, bruised toes. But in the end, that pile of rocks becomes something beautiful. Something solid and dependable.

Stonewall building takes effort. The rocks don't place themselves! It takes thought. Thinking about shapes and sizes, angles and wedges. Sometimes you have to step back and look at the wall from a distance to get the full picture. But then you have to get back up close to put in those small "chinkers" to finish it right.

Sometimes the pieces don't go together the right way on the first attempt. You have to go back, take down what you built and start over. Sometimes you have to bring in new rocks that you haven't tried yet.

God talks about stonewalls. In Revelation he describes the walls of the kingdom:  "And the foundations of the wall of the city were garnished with all manner of precious stones. The first foundation was jasper; the second, sapphire; the third, a chalcedony; the fourth, an emerald; The fifth, sardonyx; the sixth, sardius; the seventh, chrysolyte; the eighth, beryl; the ninth, a topaz; the tenth, a chrysoprasus; the eleventh, a jacinth; the twelfth, an amethyst. " (Rev. 21:19- 20)

I can't even imagine the beauty. I mean, my wall looks nice, but it's nothing compared to that!

God talks about rocks. In fact, He is our Rock: "There is none holy as the Lord: for there is none beside thee: neither is there any rock like our God." (1 Samuel 2:2)

As my rock, God is my security. He is my strength. He will never leave me. These are the "rocks" of truth that I can build my faith with. Someday, I will get to see this "wall" that I am building. I am hopeful that God will be looking at it with me and He will say: "Well done, good and faithful servant".

But for now, I press on.

All Things

Romans8:28And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Colossians 3:12Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 13Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 14And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.


These two verses were in my devotions for the last two days. Romans was this morning and Colossians was yesterday's verse. Throw in the sermons from church and the books I have been reading lately, and given the events in my life in the last ten days, I am seeing God's grace, mercy, and love for me, personally, in all these things.

I have been challenged in my thinking, my motives have been attacked, my actions were misinterpreted, and my words have been twisted. I have been lied to, and I have been confronted with my own sinfulness and selfishness. And yet, in all these things God loves me so much he has given me his words. He has upheld me even when I am feeling so very much flattened and discouraged.

His words: "...as the elect of God, holy and beloved...". I am chosen. I am wanted. I am special, simply because I belong to Him. And, not just any "Him", but the "Him" who created the universe!

His words: "even as Christ forgave you...". I am forgiven. I have so royally messed up in the last few days. My words. My thoughts. My actions. Even when I outwardly did the right thing, my inward thoughts and motives were so far from pure! Every day I am given a clean slate, with which I am given more opportunities to practice getting it right. I am forgiven by God! What more do I need?

His words: "...so also do ye...". So convicting! How I cling to the fact that I am forgiven, and yet I withold from others around me that very same gift! I need to "just do it". Seven times seventy.

His words: "...all things work together for good to them that love God...". (emphasis is mine) As much I squirm under conviction and challenge, detest being lied to and misjudged, and hate confrontations with others, I can rest in the knowledge that God has a plan. I may not understand it or enjoy it, but all these things have a purpose. Somehow, God puts it all together.

There was a time a few years ago, when I couldn't believe the trial I was slogging through. I couldn't even begin to imagine how God could make something good out of it. And yet, now several years later, I can look back and say, "Wow! Look what God did!" I know, that if where I am in my life right now is because of those experiences, then as tough as it was, I would go through it again. In a heartbeat.

I can lean on that knowledge, even now, as I trust that God is working in all these things.

Proverbs 3:3 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: 4So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man. 5Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.